Babies Don't Keep.

^^this picture was taken about a month ago when I first started this post, and man, he has already changed so much.^^

My easy baby has been not as easy these days and that's been really hard for me. What I thought was a too easy transition into his own room has backfired, and by the end of the day, I just have no more stamina to battle a baby who just wants to be awake. I want to have some time for me, and I want to go to sleep. Selfish desires. 

I woke up this morning feeling so bad how I had behaved the night before. But that's also because I was able to recharge my patience batteries overnight by getting some sleep. After a few failed efforts of baby falling asleep then being wide awake as soon as he was sat down, I found myself googling how young is too young to begin the cry it out method. Judge me if you will, but as I typed it in, it popped up, showing that I am not the first person to google it ha ha. 

So many of my dear friends here have been having their babies, and as I have gone and visited and held those sweet (and not heavy!) babies I can hardly believe that that was me just over two months ago. Two months is hardly anything at all in a non-baby life. And yet just look at my baby now, compared to these little newborns!

These two/almost three months have felt so long, and yet all I have to do it look at pictures of my newborn baby to realize that time is flying. But sometimes days feel like an eternity. It's such a crazy thing. Sometimes I go to sleep feeling discouraged at the daunting thought that I have to do it all again tomorrow. But then morning comes, and my baby wakes up so happy which is just the confidence boost I need to do it another day. 

I guess where I'm going with all of this is that I am trying so hard to cherish these days. And 80% of the time, I feel like I'm succeeding. There's a poem that I heard years ago by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton that has been in my head so often these days that easily helps me put things in perspective. 

"The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep."

I also like to use this poem as an excuse why my house is messy ;)

Anyway, time is fleeting. And I am so grateful for a patient little boy, who still smiles at me and loves me despite my flaws. I hope he stays that way forever.