8 Months and My Motherhood Confession

I know I said my next blog post would be about Kyoto, but I realized I hadn't posted for J's 8 month post! What kind of mother am I?? We had a little photo shoot this morning, and this boy. Such a joy. I just love all his expressions in just a 10 minute period. And I can officially say I've become one of those cliche moms who just keeps saying "how is he 8 months? please time slow down!" I get it now. Him growing up is so bittersweet. 

As you can see, his biggest developments since my last post 2 months ago is that he has two little teeth! And he is starting to crawl. He is being slow about it, since army crawling is so much faster and easier for him at this point. He is entering the mommy clingy stage, but it's only really bad if he is grumpy, which is usually from being tired. He still loves people so much which makes us really happy. We love that he makes everyone feel special when he gives them a smile.

With that being said, there are some things I want to get off my chest about my experience with having a baby and becoming a mother. Something I have been afraid to admit. My confession is this: my experience with a baby has been very easy. I have a very easy baby. 

I haven't divulged much of this info because I have been afraid of inflicting harsh feelings of "rubbing it in" to fellow moms who have not had it as easy as I have. For the past few months, I have read lots of articles and blog posts by women who have had very difficult experiences, and the whole time I think, "wow, it was not like that for me at all." I think it's a good thing that these women are writing their true experiences because the internet can be a very supportive place, but with that it has kind of made me afraid to admit my true experience. But I feel like I need to, because my pre-baby self was so hesitant to have a baby to begin with because of all the horror stories out there. I want to say that things are not always as difficult as the internet makes it seem. 

Here's my confession about giving birth: it's painful and my body was broken. But my body healed very quickly. I was already going out and doing things the very day I got home from the hospital. I was worried that having a baby would alter my appearance. But it doesn't look like I had a baby. My stomach looks just like it did before. I still have some love handles, but it doesn't look likes it's from a baby. I am so grateful for a body that has proven that it is more than capable of doing all that it was made to do.

Here's my confession about breastfeeding: I don't know what I was so worried about. We had no problems at all. Yes, milk coming in hurt at times but not nearly like the pain of giving birth like some women had said. My baby latched and ate correctly from day one and breastfeeding quickly became something I looked forward to doing. Never had the horror stories of cracked and bleeding nipples. This confession is one I'm afraid to admitting the most. Because I know people who have real struggles with it. I'm not putting any judgement on women who choose to not breastfeed, but I am here to say that I personally had/am having a fantastic experience with it and I wish I could have spared my pre-baby self from all that anxiety.

My last confession is about postpartum depression/baby blues: I did not experience it. I had seen one too many Oprah episodes in my high school days and I was terrified of this. I'm no scientist, but I think it's safe to say that you can get a good idea of how your experience will be based on your mother's experience, and I feel blessed that depression is not something that runs in my family. Yes, some days I felt overwhelmed that this was my life now, but overall, snuggling with that perfect baby was pure bliss. I loved the newborn phase and can't wait to experience it again. 

Of course it hasn't all been perfection and I could go into all that, but my point right now is to say that the things I was most worried about before having a baby turned out just fine--if not better-- and you don't need to psych yourself out about having a baby and you shouldn't believe everything you read. I don't take for granted that I have had such a great baby experience. Maybe the next baby will give me a run for my money! But I just want to put it out there in the sea of negative, that there is also the positive stuff. My experience is not necessarily your experience and your experience is not necessarily my experience. 

Feels good to get that off my chest.

And just a few more pictures because I can't help myself! I love him so much.