Motherhood Life Lately: Why I'm not wishing away this stage.

"Have joy in your mothering." --Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I was in my doctor's office last week perusing a parents magazine where I saw a quote from a mormon mommy blogger I know of saying something to the effect of "now that I have a toddler and a baby, I understand when people say these are the trenches of parenting." It kind of made me sad. Because while there are some challenging moments, I would not call them trenches. In fact, I can say I truly am relishing this time in my motherhood journey, for the following reasons (among others):

1. Both of my babies still nap, and at the same time in the afternoon. Nap for me too. Enough said. 

2. I can take them to the store and they aren't begging and screaming for me to get them anything, which makes me want to get them things haha. I know this won't last forever, so I'm making sure to not take it for granted.

3. They aren't in school, and they are too young to want to participate in extracurricular stuff. I can do whatever I want with them, whenever I want. We can lounge in our pjs for a while, eat a slow breakfast, take a long walk, go to the beach, you get the idea. I love the freedom and I love this time where I can enjoy them and not be on a busy restricted schedule where my other job is a chauffeur. Also I'm selfish, and I enjoy doing all the things I just said. I love being able to plan our weekends not thinking about sports games or stuff like that ha. 

4. They just want my love. I'm amazed at little children. With J especially, I see when I get mad at him for doing something and he's upset about it, that's when he wants me to pick him up and love on him the most. It's a good reminder that they are in such a fragile stage where so much of their happiness is solely based on me just giving them love and making sure they still feel loved even after doing something bad. It sounds like lot of pressure, but right now it is so easy to do that, because they are sweet innocent babies who aren't talking back to me or trying to manipulate me. Not taking that for granted either. 

5. They are just so adorable. I never want the baby giggles to go away. 

So no, I would not say I am in the trenches. I am loving life right now and loving the stages both of my babies are in. As you know, we had a rough go with Dom during months one and two, but things have smoothed out. We have found our groove. Obviously there are moments of frustration, but that's what alone time is for. That's still an important part in my mothering. 

I feel so blessed to have these sweet perfect babies. I never thought mothering would bring me such joy but it does, and I'm just trying to soak up all the good moments, since time really is fleeting. 

"Hope ya know, we had a hard time."

I've been thinking a lot of this quote as I've thought back to the week we have had. We had our first experience with our little boy getting ill, and it was a dramatic experience all right. But we are on the other side of it, feeling so grateful that our joyful Joseph is just that again.

He had a fever all day Monday, but never had a crazy high temperature. Tuesday morning came and no more fever, but still feeling a little under the weather. I will never forget hearing him fall in the other room and thinking he tripped but coming in to see him having a seizure. It was awful. I called 911 and then Victor who miraculously picked up--he had the exam in his hands he was supposed to be taking. We woke up Dom and headed to the hospital, hoping the seizure was a one time thing.

While in the ER, he had three more seizures. Every time it just left me in helpless tears. We got admitted to pediatrics, where he had two more seizures. This whole time the doctors were doing tests trying to find out what could be happening, and basically doing a process of elimination. The blood test came back negative of such and such virus. The head scan came back negative for any bleeding or tumors. It was frustrating to keep seeing seizures and not getting any answers. 

After the 6th seizure, they gave him some really strong medicine targeted to seizures. That knocked him out the rest of the afternoon, when they decided to transfer him to Stanford Childrens Hospital in Palo Alto. Transferring him there was a nightmare. He woke up very angry and hard to comfort--and they had to put in a new iv and kept missing, which understandably made him furious.

It was an exhausting night at Stanford. I am so grateful it was only one night. The doctors there: fantastic. The facilities: awful. Only one toilet and one shower for all the families in our wing. No good places to rest. My heart went out to all those families whose poor children had to stay extensively there. A children's hospital is just a very sad place in general, even if they try to make the walls colorful and decor happy. 

When J woke up the next morning, I was so happy to see that he was beginning to have his normal interests again. He wanted a bottle. He wanted to play with his car. And he wanted to watch his favorite movie: Cars. 

They kept monitoring him, and came to the diagnosis that the original ER doctor back in Monterey had predicted: hand foot and mouth disease (he had the rashes) where the fever and virus had affected a nerve to cause the seizures. We hope it will never happen again.

The day before Victor kept saying to J that when he gets better we would go get ice cream and a new toy. J probably wasn't listening and probably didn't remember, but Victor sure did pay up. We went to ikea right by the hospital and got some new toys for him, and some ice cream :)

The whole time this was going on, we were feeling an outpouring of love and support from our families and from our ward family here in Monterey. My wonderful friend who took my baby for 2 days, including overnight which is so giving considering he wakes up still in the night. Friends who came to give a blessing, and my relief society president, who offered her parents home for us to stay near the hospital (one more night and I would have taken her offer). She even offered to come and get my milk I had pumped and take it to the baby. 

One of my favorite quotes is from Spencer W Kimball: "God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom."

Boy did I feel that this week. It's been incredible. It was through all these people that I felt the love and concern of our Savior.

Back to my subject line. A great talk from Quentin L. Cook you should read and it kept coming back to me:                          

"We know from the scriptures that some trials are for our good and are suited for our own personal development. We also know that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. It is also true that every cloud we see doesn’t result in rain. Regardless of the challenges, trials, and hardships we endure, the reassuring doctrine of the Atonement wrought by Jesus Christ includes Alma’s teaching that the Savior would take upon Him our infirmities and 'succor his people according to their infirmities.'"

So yeah, he knows when we had a hard time. He knows and He is there. 

My baby boy is back to normal. Still has some sores, but he is happy and crazy again and when I want to get frustrated that he is going nuts over something, I remember how he was a few days ago and it immediately puts things in perspective and makes so happy he is acting crazy haha. He is my greatest source of joy (along with my other boys) and I am so thankful everything turned out ok, but yeah, we had a hard time.

Earthbound Farms and a Photo Gallery of Trying to Take Pictures with a Toddler

On Friday we were driving around in Carmel Valley and we decided to stop to enjoy Earthbound Farms since it was a gorgeous day. I had no idea that Earthbound Farms was based in Carmel--after all these years of buying their stuff at Costco ha. But it is the loveliest place, that I have been to several times now. Lots of gardens, including a snip-your-own herb garden and a fun kids garden. It's great to let kids run around and explore, which is exactly what J wanted to do. He did NOT want to take any pictures with me. Sad day. Good thing I have a new baby to take cute mommy and me photos with, until he doesn't want to either!

^^How J wants to be photographed.^^

And how he doesn't want to be photographed:

 I don't know why I kept trying. We had a good run, me and him, of adorable pictures. Will the day ever return where he will take pictures with me?? I hope so. Until then, I'll try to stop spending so much time getting my instagram-husband to get the perfect shot ;) (if you don't know the reference then watch this. so funny.)

Monterey Wildflowers

I was telling my mom (in a persuasive argument as to why she should come visit me soon) how Monterey is so beautiful right now. There are all types of gorgeous flowers that just grow naturally all over the place. Like just growing on the sides of the freeway and stuff. So my mom was like "well take some pictures of them!" I have already posted about the wild calla lilies that are in bloom all over the place, and here are some more of another favorite I have been seeing all over: gorgeous blue lupines. 

We found this little spot just driving off the beaten path, and as soon as we got out, J was off. He was in heaven just running and tripping through this field. It was so fun just seeing his excitement to explore. It was a struggle to get some pictures with him, but he indulged me for a few. 

 ^^my favorite thing to do: take pictures in flower fields with my babies!^^

 ^^and my favorite kind of photo bomb^^

 This picture captures what I love so much about this little boy. He is such a joy!

Thanks to my Victor for taking these pictures. I wanted him to get in for a few, but he said he needed a haircut, and it's true haha.

Ahh Monterey, you are making me fall in love with you even more with this beautiful spring. Stay tuned--I will try to do more photo shoots in more wildflowers. Hope you don't mind. ;)

So when are you coming to visit??

Four Months of Dominic

Which means time for a photo shoot! I thought about doing a side by side of J at four months, but here's the link and you can decide how alike they look. Sometimes I see the similarity pretty strongly.

Four months old! It's my favorite baby stage! Most people say six, but I love four because they are still immobile and chill, but smiley and giggly. I can still just have them sit on my lap and eat, and they don't try to grab my food ha. 

Dominic has become a very smiley baby, but I had a hard time capturing it on camera, unlike his brother. But he still is pretty dang photogenic, in my biased mom opinion. 

 ^^perfect skin and perfect little toes^^

 ^^he is looking at his brother^^

 ^^he has the longest fingers! (and feet) I already have tiger mother aspirations that he will be a concert pianist ;) ^^

This whole time I was snapping pictures, J wanted to participate so badly! So I let him up on the bed, and of course he loved posing for the camera. I know this post is supposed to be about Dominic, but this little pair of brothers is starting to be the sweetest thing ever. Dom actually giggles at J and is excited to see him in the morning. This is A LOT of progress from the first few months of their relationship ha!

Dom had his four month checkup this morning and while he is skinny, he is tall, which I am so happy about, since I am such a shorty. I just want tall kids. He has a hotter temper than J did at this age, that's for sure. It's still a constant adjustment for me, but things are good. I am just grateful that he is healthy, happy, and seems to love being in our family.

While he likes J, Dom definitely loves having one on one time and attention. He gets so happy when J is napping or if he is running an errand with Victor. I joke that J is my motherboy, but I am pretty sure it is going to be this kid, because most of the time when we are at social functions J acts like he is too cool for me. And he probably is. But Dominic looooves me! I love it.