The Agony and the Ecstacy (AKA Giving Birth)

I gave birth just five days ago. And it sure is amazing how those extremely painful parts are starting to become foggy and I think, "oh yeah, I could do this again." But if you had asked me on Tuesday, the day I spent entirely in labor, I would have said, nope, no more babies ha ha.

I started having regular contraction, five minutes apart like clockwork at midnight on Tuesday. I went into labor and delivery at 3am and they told me to go home. I also had a doctors appointment that morning with my dr to possibly discuss induction. At that appointment, she got the ball rolling (in other words stripped my membranes) and then the contractions that started made all the other ones look like chump change. I labored at home for about five hours. I was so scared to go to the hospital and get turned away again, after being in so much pain and feeling like I just HAD to have made progress.

But we went in, and I was 4cm, and I had a leak in my water. My golden ticket! I got admitted, and the anesthesiologist soon was on the scene giving me an epidural.

Epidural, sweet epidural! When it kicked in, my husband said, "it's so nice to be able to talk to my wife again!"

^^not too shabby view. smiles from the epidural!^

I spent the rest of the evening making progress. My dad's flight got in, and our dear friends picked him up and brought him straight to the hospital. Finally, at 2am, my midwife that delivered me said it was time to start pushing! But at this point, with the way I was sitting for pushing, I started feeling so much pain from the contractions. I was exhausted, and I hadn't eaten a thing all day so my energy was dwindling.

That hour of pushing was definitely the hardest thing I have done physically. I know I couldn't have done it without prayer. I just kept praying to find the energy I needed to do it. And soon enough, the head was starting to come out: I reached down to touch it in my midwife's effort to get me motivated. It was pretty weird, but still pretty cool.

Soon I could feel the whole baby coming down the birth canal. That was so surreal! And then he was out. And everyone immediately exclaimed "he's so big!" They immediately put him up on my skin, and he really was a chubby little guy. That moment was surreal. It wasn't like how some people say that they felt they knew their babies all their lives. It was more like, "wow, you've been in my belly for 9 months: it's nice to finally meet you!" To finally have a face to all those kicks and movements you come to know for so long.

They let me do skin to skin for as long as I wanted. I felt like I was hogging him from Victor ha ha. I knew he was so excited and so ready to hold his son. So, I gave him to Victor and then he had him weighed. Nine pounds four ounces! Where was he hiding in that belly of mine?? The belly they said was always measuring small, and the belly that my doctor had estimated would maybe be around 7.5 pounds. It was crazy. But I love my little baby with chubby cheeks and cute little leg rolls.

And I am amazed and frankly, proud of my body, for growing that baby, for being able to get it out, and for now being able to create food to keep him alive. It's all so amazing. And witnessing live birth, whether it's being the laborer o being able to be a witness, is by far the most spiritual and sacred thing I have ever been apart of.