Monday, November 1, 2010

Save the Subjunctive! And other activist protest ideas

While some college students may feel that protesting a cause like global warming or saving the animals in the ocean (ehh emm...Kimmy) is crucially important, I feel like there are other issues that are just as important. First and foremost: the subjunctive. Ever heard of it? Maybe, but do you ever use it? Probably not, because the subjunctive is dying. This is serious people! A part of our language is just disappearing: this is a big problem that people just don't seem to care about.

In case you don't know what the subjunctive is, I will explain, and give a prime example of how it is dying. Some 50 years ago, the musical Fiddler on the Roof opened on Broadway. One of the most well known songs was "If I Were a Rich Man." Did you catch that? If I were a rich man. Fast forward four decades. Gwen Stefani comes out with her pop hit rip off called "If I was a Rich Girl." What the what?! She just killed the subjunctive. This is not right.

That's why if I were (yep, were, not was) to head up a college campus activist protest it would be to save the subjunctive. It needs to be saved. And it needs to be saved more than the whales in the ocean. I guess I should take my protest to the school boards as well because teachers really are no longer teaching grammar in schools, which is a travesty. Americans don't even know their own language, which damages them for life. It's not your fault you don't know how to use the subjunctive. You weren't taught it or encouraged to use it. And just to help you out, here are some sample sentences of how to use the subjunctive, taken from the real thoughts of yours truly.

I wish Tim Gunn were one of my best friends.
If boyfriend were to come this weekend we could go to The Drowsy Chaperon for 10 dollars. (student tickets are the best)
I wish I were skiing. (This sounds weird, but it is correct)

Only YOU can save the subjunctive!

So, moving on to other activist protests. I have a friend who is ridiculous. He is going to protest for mens rights. He calls it his mens revolution. I would usually frown upon such a thing, but he wants to protest for mens rights on college campuses simply to get a reaction from all those college feminists. (And if I didn't know it was a joke, I would probably be one of them to throw paint on him or something)

And for all you redheads out there. A protest for ginger rights. And this one really did happen. My co worker heard about it when she was living in London. Do gingers really need more rights? Are they discriminated against? Actually, yes. A fellow sister missionary in my mission who is a ginger spent weeks trying to find a new apartment in Bucharest and no one would rent to her because of that (she also had an asian companion and that just added to it). I don't think that I discriminate against them, unless it's discrimination that I get offended if somebody thinks that I have red hair, and that I often say that attractive red head guys don't exist. (I have only ever met one) So I guess a protest for ginger rights could be productive.

If you would be interested in participating in any of these causes, let me know and maybe we can make a difference in the world! There is strength in numbers!

Happy Monday. Love, Annie


  1. I had a dream about this post. Yes, this post. The one about grammar. In my dream I told you that Mrs. King (from 10th grade Honors English) would be so proud of you. I hated her, I made her cry. I'm not sure if we even had this class together, but if you didn't have her, then you didn't know how horrible 10th grade English could be. I guess what I'm trying to say is that your blog is having a major impact in my life.

    I love it!

  2. we did have that class together michelle! but i don't remember you making her cry. one time she got all mad at me for "rolling her eyes" at her (maybe i actually was, who knows). she was a very passionate lady i guess!