Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Conceiving, Carrying, and Everything In-between

Did you ever have to watch "The Miracle of Life" in high school health class? No? Today is your lucky day! It's on youtube right here! So, if you did, you probably remember well the scoffs and snickers while watching it, or your teacher being like mine and yelling "have some maturity!!" And you tended to join along with the other students, because after all, we're watching things like ejaculation and live birth and seeing what happens during sex is awkward, funny, and gross all at the same time to dumb high-schoolers.

I think about it now, and want to be that coach (did I not mention my health teacher was also a gym teacher? Well, that's pretty much a safe assumption) and yell "Don't you realize how many things had to be just right for this whole thing to be successful?! Don't you understand the hundreds of things that could have gone wrong that would have prevented you from being here?!"

It truly is a miracle.

You don't realize any of this until you are an adult. What do you know of your own mother's or your friend's mothers' struggles to conceive and/or successfully carry a baby? If my mom had had miscarriages or infertility struggles, I never would have known, because kids just aren't aware of any one else's struggles or needs but their own. No disrespect to children, that's just how they are.  I never would have known as a child, but I know now as an adult. And it's not with my mother this time, it's my own friends and acquaintances who are in that same stage of life as me right now.

A couple weeks ago, I accompanied a dear friend to her own ultrasound, since her husband was out of the country for work. A few hours later, I was to have my own 16 week appointment. In the ultrasound, we found out she had miscarried. Oh how much it hurt to have to see her go through it, and then only an hour or so later to be hearing a healthy heartbeat of my own baby. She might have asked, "why me?" but in that moment, I was also thinking, "why me?"

I am not taking for granted how blessed I am. It's just so hard to have to see friends struggling to conceive or struggling to carry a baby full term because I confess, I didn't have to wait too long to successfully conceive, and I have had a healthy pregnancy so far, which I pray continues. How do you be a comfort without unintentionally rubbing it in? I just try to continue being the best and most supportive friend I can be. And I keep them in my prayers that their prayers will be heard as well.

I'm not quite sure to wrap up these thought of mine, except to say again that it all really is a miracle.

Oh, and we found out today that we are having a boy. My husband couldn't wait any longer so we went to a Japanese clinic off base. The doctor spoke decent English, definitely enough to almost immediately say, "oh yeah, penis" as the baby appeared on the screen. Haa. It was all pretty crazy, but my favorite part of those appointments is hearing a strong healthy heartbeat. Grateful that my little guy seems to be doing pretty good in there.
Proud papi, showing off his baby's privates to family on facetime. Can you see the 3D shot of his face at the bottom? Technology is so amazing!

Anyway, thanks for reading. I love you all.


  1. What?! That was sort of an afterthought announcement! I am so excited for you guys. I thought you would have had a girl first since it seems that is the way it works in the Ostler family. :) I bet Will is excited (and I know Victor is.) Most of all, I am glad to hear everything is going well and baby is healthy.

  2. I know these thoughts of yours very well. Welcome to mommy hood. It's incredible how powerful the sound of the heartbeat is. I can't wait to meet your little guy.

  3. You will be a great mother and you two will be great parents of this little boy! I am excited for you and proud of you. Love you!

  4. Congratulations on your son! I understand your feelings for your friend. I think that just being there for her to give a hug is more comforting than anything else.

  5. good post :) and yay for baby boyyyyy!