Friday, January 27, 2012

On Trying to be a Better Person

Remember this resolution that I made a few weeks ago? Well I've been thinking a lot about it lately. Especially thinking about the impression that I am giving to people---more so being here in this new state, where I am meeting new people almost every day.

Just in thinking about the last few days alone, I feel like I have been failing trying to be a nicer and more outgoing person. Or so it would seem. It's always easy to be nice and outgoing when the person on the other end is making an effort too. And what if they aren't? Then what is expected of me? Am I still supposed to push them and be outgoing?

Here is my recent (and not so recent) example. My next door neighbors just moved. You know, the ones with the dogs. And I was actually really happy about it. Happy that I won't have to endure the awkwardness of me saying hello with a smile, and them looking down and muttering some kind of greeting, or just avoiding my glance all together. Thinking back on it, it really frustrates me.

What's sad about all of this is that we had lived next to each other for over six months, and I didn't even know their names. But they were a young couple with no kids, husband in the marines, and the wife who I think didn't have a job this summer either. It could have been a friendship made in heaven. And yet, I had more communication with their dogs than with them.

I realize that it's my fault that I never found out their names. But when I try to say hi over and over again and only get a cold response, what am I supposed to do? Am I really supposed to keep trying to extract some conversation out of these kind of people? I guess I'm just trying to throw this question out into the world and get some kind of advice or validation from all of you.

I think I do need to try harder. But I just don't understand people sometimes. If I can tell that someone is making an effort to talk to me, I make an effort back. I thought that's just what you do. But then those negative encounters discourage me from trying. But I know that it's no excuse. I know I need to still try. And remember that not everyone is cold and uncaring.

Man, it can be so hard sometimes to just not be a hermit!

1 comment:

  1. Totally feel ya! It can be really easy to give up on someone in those situations. I do my best to continue being positive. I usually try to compliment their hair, shoes, huge bow on their door ;), just to get a positive reaction and start a conversation (which could lead to a friendship). It's more fun to make it a game and a LOT more rewarding than reverting to hermit status when it works.